They should really pass out barf bags in church
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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