i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
