found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
