If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
