That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
