Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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