No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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