had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
