Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
