O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
