Girls should come with a carfax report
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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