everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
