Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
