why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
