Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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