Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i came on her dog
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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