grandma shit on top of the toilet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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