You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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