I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
