I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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