We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How external is "for external use only"?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
