This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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