My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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