Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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