How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
