I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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