so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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