You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
