did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
