No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
