Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
