Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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