oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
