Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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