your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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