I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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