i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
