ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
