Dual....:-)
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
