I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
