We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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