make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
