Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
