You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
