yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
