Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The power of my boobs compel you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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