I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is Oprah even human
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
