Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
