I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just high enough for therapy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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