problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
