I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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